I'm 14 and i have a life that i wouldnt want anyone to live. i have a couple really good friends... i never want to lose them. i've lost so much already and i dont want to lose anything else. i push, i push people, i push them away. I dont let anyone stay with me forever. Once someone gets to be close to me, i push them... and thats how i lose everything. And so i might as welll just disapear, go from the world... i want to leave here so i can find somewhere that i can be happy. But there is no possible way i can live in a dream...